Diary Of A Battered Girl

I want to feel…

I want to breathe….

I want to be caressed by my inner thoughts…

I want to scream…

I want to yell….

I WANT TO TELL….

I WANT TO TALK…

but I am over run by the silence that I no must be kept. The story. The Explosion….The Abuse…..Pause Jaime…. Regain control

You are spinning out of control. losing. by every tick and tock of the clock.

You are running through the dark. Feet bare. Moist from the sweat the fear has released from your pores.  dirt and and painful sticky pearls which scratch and beat your feet as you run down the empty path to escape. The thick sticks and forgiving smooth graze of the stones that had possibly felt this pain before.Your clothes are torn and your mind is falling all over this gravel. Your hopes and dreams are a thousand miles away Lost in the mist of the night. 

Panting, Hoping, Fainting, Gasping 

HAULT,

You stop in your tracks Because you no you have reached the middle of this beaten path. The path that ends at the grave, yards down this road.

You realize that running will only make IT mad and you know that you must take it..

Take it Take It

TAKE IT

So i did…

Walk back slowly Jaime, Crawl Back Jaime’, run Back Jaime 

Get lost in the night. In the dark. In the music. In the Pain.

and when the sun rises. If the sun rises

You Will FEEL

YOU WILL BREATHE

YOU WIL BE CARRESSED BY YOU INNER THOUGHTS TO HEAL YOUR WOUNDS, YOUR THOUGHTS WILL BE THERE TO LICK AND HEAL YOUR INJURED FEATURES

YOU

have screamed

You

have yell

But

you will not tell

you will not talk…………

U N T I L ….. NOW

I grew up thinking I would be more then what I’ve become. Loving More then what I love. Turned in to me Losing More then I thought I could lose and never gaining what i was meant to gain.

I let go of a lot of the Fears.

FEARS

Fears that once shattered and belittled my beliefs. Fears that changed the Good heart That I was blessed with. Fears..That Tainted the very existence of my hopes and beliefs. I SIT TODAY MIND IN AN CONFUCIUS STATE….

Where do you go when you have finally let IT go……

Like Truly Let IT go…

I guess if people knew the beginning they could tell me where to end…